i don't know how to start this post but um i feel so overwhelmed lately. i used to be that so called 'lone wolf' kemana-mana sendiri, makan sendiri, belanja sendiri, seneng2 sendiri. dan ya bonus aja sih punya cowo bisa nemenin, kadang. but i never feel apa-apa walaupun sendiri even i enjoy it sometimes. ya kalo ngerasa sepi baru deh oh iya gue punya cowo, bisa nemenin. 

sekarang bener2 ngerasa overwhelmed burnout parah. i thought i would handle it well. tapi ternyata ga semudah itu. gue abis keluar seharian sama orang aja besoknya pengen sendirian terus. nah ini gue sebulan lebih harus tinggal barengan. well its true that pasti ada momen-momen yang seneng, cuman lu tau gak kek capek bukan capek fisik tapi mentally drained. seneng-seneng aja gue bisa capek, apalagi dibuat emosi n sedih ya kan? rasanya pengen keluar sendiri tiap malem tapi disini tiap tikungan ada kuburan cuy. mana kaga ada lampu. pengen nangis pengen nyanyi pas motoran. pengen nyari jajan sendiri, makan sendiri, wasting time sendiri.

no, i don't blame anyone. this is me complaining the thing i still can't figure it how. i don't know how to overcome it. but somehow, this too shall pass. this is me complaining about how dumb i am to manage my emotion. blaming myself why i can't be grateful even when im surrounded with kind people. orang-orang baik. tapi tetep aja i need a privacy i wanna be alone. i wanna isolate. i wanna recharge. the problem is always me myself.